It is apparent if you are in a couple or partnership/relationship then meeting all the modern daily demands requires both of you to be fully functioning, present, energised & in the capacity of an ‘adult’ rather than displaying juvenile tendencies. This becomes even more so if you own property &/or are raising children together. Metaphorically when you have been juggling too many balls in the air or trying to maintain several spinning plates - only one small distraction can be all it takes for what you have to come crashing down.
Respond & Retrieve
If your relationship requires immediate attention, or if you simply want to nurture & build on what you already have then my practical & metaphysical approaches can help. This will require commitment; daily individual & team work initially until it becomes second nature & in time takes on a natural flow. I have deliberately started with the actionable movement forward followed by the metaphysical understanding of how the energy around you is bearing an impact. I have carefully compiled an original questionnaire that will not only narrow down your concerns into a manageable size but will indicate to you the scope of what you are wanting to preserve.
Unravelling Trace back to the point of unravel. Find if it was a place, an incident, a circumstance, a person, lack of attention. Acknowledge the origin to find out the cause, the lesson, how to heal it, how to release it, how to identify it & select another way as you approach it again in the future. The duration of your relationship has no bearing on this.
Distractions Extra strain can & will be placed on relationships, expect it. What form is this presented to you e.g. Kids: take time, emotions, sacrifices, finances. Extended Families: can manipulate, use forms of leverage, prevent you from making clear decisions, create unequal distribution of resources enabling some members to thrive while deliberately withholding from others. Work Situations & Colleagues: can cause stress, strain & pressure. Friends & Social Influences: can add external pressure & drive you in a direction you never intended to go. Other Reactions: can be avoidance, distortions, lethargy, taking things for granted plus a host of other general distractions. Learn how to move away from all that impinges on you.
Honesty Masking things is becoming a proficient human trait, so it is essential to only come from a place of honesty, this seems to be difficult for many people. Know where your frustration, hurt, stress, humiliation, exhaustion stems from & check it is not misplaced e.g. anxiety from work can lead to arguments about something completely unrelated in your relationship. Take yourself back to what you actually signed onto, is this what you expected? What is creating the divide, conflict, disfunction, distance, tension. Focus only on yourselves, step away from friends & family. Answering my questionnaire at this point will provide immense information to discuss, identifying your achievements while centralising your concerns to focus on.
Adhesive Here lies your common ground, what can potentially keep you together during tough times. The challenges you’ve both experienced & overcome, your shared memories, sacred moments. Feel into the soul & spirit of the person rather than the exterior which is opposite to how we are entrained - which is to be consumed & blinded by external features (Know that shinny on the outside can often conceal what is sour or spoilt on the inside).
Adjustments The everchanging environment is all around you, learn to adapt to it. By accepting change is a constant, although it moves at different speeds you will avoid stagnancy or blocked energy build up. As your circumstances evolve you will need to reach for appropriate ‘tools’, realise what these are for you as an individual & what is needed for you both within your relationship. These can be physical, emotional, mental & metaphysical tools. Sense when you are in transition stages, the time in between so you can acclimatise.
Ruinous The unfortunate reality is you can damage years of positive relationship progress within a minute – an outburst, an argument, a misunderstanding. It can take you right back to where you may have been 5 years ago within an instant. Make provision for this by stating you know it is occurring as it is happening, showing this awareness alone demonstrates progress & can reduce the fall out. Stop the interaction straight away to cool off before continuing with any communication. Only when you feel your energy has returned to the level you have been operating from should you continue.
Fields A metaphysical understanding will deliver an even fuller picture; how your energetic fields of resonance overlap, the importance of stripping away other peoples energy who have no part within your relationship, identifying supressed emotions that will eventually block your energy centres, vortexes (chakras), knowing what is yours or was brought to you by your partner. Clear toxins, tethers, leaks, seepage. Transmute anger, freshen your subtle bodies from pollution & flush out any contaminated or tainted energy. Sit & reflect on if this person brings out the worst in you, baits you or creates attachments that never belonged to you in the first place. Be aware of your own or your partners creep, slippage, bad habits, old patterns. Find yourself whole rather than searching for a twin flame or soul mate which could just be a figment. Establish how to move through together even when not at the same pace (this will prevent one from running off joining a New Age guru or latest fad). Which new healthy road will you both choose to travel down together from here?
Limits If you make the decision to move forward together than you need to establish the signs or signals to know when it’s enough - when it truly is over. If any form of physical, verbal, psychotic, emotional, mental abuse or manipulation is present then it is over. If the aforementioned were never present than other indicators suggesting when to call time maybe in the form of the number of chances or reminders over a period of time, absence of any growth, choosing to dissolve the relationship amicably before it turns toxic.