A growing number of children are gradually acquiring an irrational point of reference which reduces their ability to form a balanced outlook or to regulate & manage their emotions, lessening their ability to make sensible decisions. At the worst levels it can impair their natural growth & development, in some instances even regressing – hence we see the emergence of adult babies where the crazy is becoming not only normalised but celebrated. Several have been given the stage to perform on at all times by parents & teachers who misguided in their intention have unknowingly helped to create a playing field where young people expect or demand attention at all times, pair this with a lolly shop style of consumerism on tap.
Coming Of Age
It has become apparent that the need to tame or curb the growing & inflated desires of youth needs to be a priority as a parent, or the episodes of explosive tantrums can hold the power to pull you & your family down, creating mayhem & evaporating your time & energy. There needs to be a marked distinction between the genuine emotional turbulence children experience as they move through their various coming of age stages & how to support & guide your child through these matters carefully as opposed to that which is clearly an act or learned behaviour as a means to get what they want.
This package offers a range of ideas separated into four main areas: The Display: Which centres on the prominent behaviour that is now surfacing. The Conduct: Concerns the sway of external interference to try & persuade or win over children’s ‘love’. The Fallout: Surrounds the impact on you as a parent, your relationship & other siblings within the family. The Treatment: Incorporating both practical methods and/or metaphysical concepts to rapidly isolate, contain & resolve the issue.
The Display: First learn to identify the types of behaviour expressed, this can range from over the top powerful mood swings, overt or passive aggression, attention seeking, manipulation, tantrums, argument seeking, projection. Secondly understand the importance of holding them to account once the outburst is over if they have lashed out in a damaging way. It is extremely important to provide space for them to release their tension & this will often be at home (I see many students holding in their frustration, anger, confusion etc until they arrive home where it is safer to let it out. While this is better than losing it at school they need to be reminded of what is or is not appropriate within a household & how others are directly affected.)To simply allow an outburst without follow up consequences or discussion, particularly if it is dangerous will suggest to your child this is the only answer or the accepted way to deal with all issues. Thirdly explore healthier ways to move through the emotional issue rather than resorting to meltdowns or projecting their emissions from room to room. There are ways to do this, but it can take practice, so use each episode to familiarise yourself with identifying the issue, working through the motions, finding solutions, healing & then releasing it. This is how you grow & strengthen.
The Conduct: Never underestimate the impact others have on your child’s behaviour e.g. family members who enable, allow & even encourage children to avoid learning true independence, this is often in the form of spoiling mechanisms. I see this primarily with family members influencing behaviour patterns through purchasing or rewarding with gifts (can be in the form of material items, holidays, treats). Many children are extremely perceptive with senses alert rather than dulled, kids know what to do & how to do it to get what they want. Just as we have adult babies, so too we have conniving toddlers with sharp manipulation tactics. I now see deliberate, bizarre & warped behaviour rewarded to sooth, settle, placate & appease children, from adults who should know better than trying to gain their good graces. This is in fact setting them up to form patterns they will carry into adulthood which are difficult to break.
The Fallout: Observe the fallout settling on you yourself, your partner, plus any other siblings in the household. Even if your relationship is a strong one, your children can add strain & tension to it! You may need to discover if this is instigating further arguments between you all & what buttons are being pushed either deliberately or indirectly from your child. Is there a growing rift or divide between you? Have regular check-ins to remain a support network with each other & to establish a consensuses & consequences that you will hold to & stick with. Learn how to discuss what’s occurred with the other siblings affected so they understand it is not them. Be in awareness of how your behaviour also models or teaches your child.
The Treatment: Take practical action first with metaphysical resources second as these need to be fully understood prior to implementing them or their effect will be confusing.
Practical: You will need to incorporate self-care (not in the sense of facials & indulgences) instead it needs to be in the form of creating a strong base for you to centre yourself & approach the action from. You are not a captive audience to diva like demands so learn how to shut the performance down while you distance yourself from the storm as you are no help if you immerse yourself right in the middle. Take time to reflect on what led up to this. Remain in your parenting role with the usual responsibilities, but its ok to call time on being directly involved as a parent until you have a clear sense of all sides. Do not be a punching bag or doormat so you will need to stand your ground & claim your space, do not let it spill out all through your house. Now is the time to step up as a parent & be not distract yourself with TV, shopping, entertainment. You may need extra sleep, hydration, food, extra organised. It is also a time to get real about your parenting & see if you are trying to have teachers solve this or handle it for you.
Metaphysical: Learn the significance in scanning the immediate energy occurring within your child’s subtle bodies fields of resonance, what are the impediments or encroachments from others (tethers, hooks, attachments, leaks). Clear them out then set protective boundaries. On a wider environmental energetic level make positive alterations by moving energy around, release & replace it to create a positive environment. On an even broader scale find out what is occurring within the larger global system that is generating mass numbers of grown toddlers.